Interview With Steven Kramer, Assistant Principal, Technology Services
conducted by BENJAMIN MAGARIK

Some facts about Kramer

Thirty Four years w/BOE
Started in 1968, came to Stuyvesant on Feb 1, 1972.
Initially a chemistry teacher
Taught physics, history and philosophy of science, AP Chemistry, Computer Programming- hypertalk, astronomy.
In 1990, he joined the programming office.
In 1995, appointed Technology Coordinator.
Then, in the 1997-98 school year, appointed as Assistant Principal of Technology services, an entirely new position.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spectator: What, if anything, do you actually do?
Kramer: I take up space…. and collect pay. When things break, blame it on underlings. When the underlings fix it, I take credit.

Spectator: Do you like computers?
Kramer: Computers are the agents of Satan.

Spectator: Elaborate.
Kramer: Computers purport to be timesaving devices, but in actuality turn out to be black holes into which your time disappears--and nothing comes out.

Spectator: Do you enjoy using them in your spare time?
Kramer: Yeah, I do. [smiles, sheepishly] I love the ability to write a program and accomplish something.

Spectator: There have been scattered reports that you're something of an American hero. Confirm or deny?
Kramer: Well, yeah, I'm one of the great people of my generation. But, I'm modest… probably too modest. For example, there have been plenty of times where I could have killed someone with my car-- and I didn't.

Spectator: Who is the strangest person you've met in your time at Stuyvesant?
Kramer: [Longish pause as Kramer thinks] There was this student who wanted to be God. Her mother was a Nazi (really, she was) and when the girl was a freshman, she wanted to be God. By the time she was a senior, she had become much more realistic, and all she wanted was to become King of the World.

Spectator: Who's your favorite staff member?
Kramer: My secretary Angela. She's just wonderful. And Kioko. I'm just really lucky to work with those two, they're very fine people.

Spectator: What's your opinion of cafeteria food?
Kramer: [Laughs] When I go to the cafeteria, I accuse them of crimes against humanity. I say to them "just because this is your job doesn't excuse what you're doing. The Nuremberg defense didn't fly in post-war Germany and it certainly doesn't fly here." It's hard to know what food groups are being represented. When I do eat up there, I get the tuna salad, because the chances of getting food poisoning from that are lower than anything else.

Spectator: What do you think of Stuyvesant students?
Kramer: Stuyvesant Students are the one constant here. They're great. What makes this school great isn't the building, it isn't the staff--it's the students.

Spectator: After 34 years. What are your thoughts on the state of the public education in New York City?
Kramer: I would have said, 30 years ago, that the Board of Education was so inefficient that it couldn't get worse. Boy, was I naive. Especially since I've been dealing with technology at Stuyvesant. I've seen systemic waste, incompetence, and stupidity at a staggering level.

Spectator: Any hope?
Kramer: No hope. Unless the Board of Education is completely done away with and the people who know how to manage build the system from the ground up. [Points to a poster on the wall, depicting BOE seal reading "Aliquid Carissimum Est] Whatever costs the most. The Board is completely paternalistic, from the top down. A salmon has a better chance of swimming up Niagara Falls than a thought does of reaching the twelfth floor of Livingston Street [the headquarters of the Board of Education]. [Laughs] It's a good thing I'm retiring.

Free Association Test
Spectator: I give you a random phrase, you tell me your immediate thoughts or reaction- in a sentence.

a. Humor- I don't think that's funny.
b. Michael Bloomberg- Maybe… he's got possibilities.
c. Math and Science- a joy.
d. SING!- I'd rather stick needles in my eyes.
e. Seniors- I don't give a s---, I'm graduating.
f. Administrators- It only seems like they don't do anything.
g. The Student Union- Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
h. Kioko- [a] great guy.
i. Standardized Tests- horrible.
j. Retirement- I'll let you know.
k. Senility- I forget.

Spectator: Any last words?
Kramer: Yeah. I feel truly blessed to have worked here for all these years. When I think back on these thirty years, I remember the kids. I don't expect to leave here dry-eyed.